Heaven, Hell
by Imymadderthanyyou1996
Summary: Edward leaves bella and two years go by, Edward comes back, starts working with Bella but, he's engaged and Bella's even worse than she was when he left. But is everthing as it seems, course not! AH
1. The End

Prologue – Bella POV

Heaven is you cool breath on my face.

Hell is knowing I will never feel it again.

Heaven is feeling your love through every movement and kiss.

Hell is knowing I was never good enough to hold you.

I am trapped between two entities.

Heaven, Hell.

Love, Hate.

Reality, Dreams.

This is my struggle to stay between the two powers that broke because my heart refuses to let go. It can't.

Chapter 1 – Endings

Edward POV (The Only one for a while)

I stared into her chocolate eyes. This was the last time I would feel, I had no doubt of that. This was the price I would pay for Tanya. I needed to accept that, but the selfish side of myself was making very convincing arguments to stay with them both, with my life and soul. I didn't let them win. As much as I wanted to give in, I couldn't. _Tanya refused to let you keep her_, I whispered to myself, so quietly she hadn't a hope of hearing, _she'll forget you in a couple of years, marry Mike Newton. _The thought repelled me but I had to deal with it, this was the second price.

With one swift kiss on her forehead I ran. I ran faster than I'd ever run before straight to the one person I never wanted to turn away from. But it was necessary this time, I wouldn't be much company anyways.

Tanya was waiting for me, her smile dazzling me as always, she handed me my keys without a word just a kiss on my lips, I pulled away. She narrowed her eyes and attempted to get into the passenger door, I locked it and drove swiftly away from her. While driving I read my texts. I had one from each of my family.

Alice : _U stupid fool! Bella loves you! I will never forgive u never!_

Carlisle: _Edward think about this, I will respect your decision but really, is this what you want?_

Emmett: _U choose the wrong girl, man._

Esme: _R u sure, Alice is angry, Rosalie is fuming, she has no words for u. _

Jasper: _Bella was beta brother_

I quickly tossed my phone in the back seat and drove, just drove.


	2. Along Came A Alice

Bella's broken hearted, Edward was always there.

Chapter 2 – Work and no play makes Bella a dull student

"Bella, your coming out tonight, you know do something fun. Get drunk, chat up a cute guy, get laid in the toilets and then throw up in your purse. You know being a twenty year old!" Jessica Stanley happened to work in my building, oh joy! Every Friday she gave me the same story, every Friday I refused giving her the same, I have so much to do, Poufy needs feeding ect. As usual Jessica goes off in a huff and bitches about me to Victoria, a slut in he own right, I swear she does prostitution on the side. Anyways I closed down my computer and stepped out into the cool, Friday evening. It wasn't raining, I'd moved from Forks the second High School finished, it had help to ease the hole in my chest somewhat but it was always there, in the back of my mind, waiting to pounce the second I let my guard down. As for Jessica's 'comment' earlier, I was not going to 'get laid' I was still, a virgin and I only wished that Edward _had_ taken me because now, I had no one to belong to there was no one I could give that too, no one I wanted to give that too there was only him, there will be only him. But he was gone, he didn't want me, he'd left me for the one reason I was convinced he would, fate's a bitch.

As I entered my home, Poufy my cat rubbed her body against my legs, purring. With one swift motion Poufy was off the floor and in my arms. "Did you miss Mummy, Poufy? Hmm? Cause Mummy missed you, yes she did." Poufy began purring excitably and I held her in my arms until we were in the kitchen. Opening a drawer I fed my little kitty and loved watching her devour her meal. There was only one other person I had loved on the same level, No! I pushed that thought away, Poufy would not see me cry, that was the one condition my mother had let me keep her Poufy would not be subject to me breaking down, I wouldn't let her.

But, the thoughts can't be kept at bay for long, as soon as I had shut my door on my kitten I collapsed against it and let grief consume me, it lapped at my feet a dark entity that singed my toes and crept slowly upward, I let it.

"Isabella Swan I swear if you don't open up right now, I'll – I'll break the door down!" My mothers voice pierced through my nightmare and fresh tear overrode the ones that had fell in the night, I quickly straightened my clothes and flew to the door There was no point wiping my eyes, Reneé knew me too well, knew I cried (and screamed) in my sleep, knew my heart was broken. I opened the door slowly, cautiously gauging her reaction she smiled at first, and then saw me properly and her smile quickly faded. "What has he done to you?" She whispered to her self her slightly greying hair bouncing as she said it. I gave her my best weak smile and opened the door fully, to let her in. Once we were sat properly on the sofa I knew she had something to say and I sighed, this wasn't going to be pleasant. "Just say it Mom." I submersed into the pain, my body bracing for it. "They came back. – she whispered – they didn't stay for long, found out you'd gone and left. Dr Snow said they'd come here, to work, I did some digging and Edward – my heart broke as she said his name but she ignored, thankfully – works in the same building you do. I spoke to him, Bella, he knew you were working there but he thought you could cope. I told him it would be hard for you, so hard even but he dismissed it said it was for the best. He works on your floor, but wait, there's more. He's engaged, to Tanya Denali." I didn't notice my eyes had closed, I opened them quickly but I could not see my mother, all I saw was the strawberry blonde her pearly white teeth and flawless skin, her smile dazzling him, his hand holding hers. Her finger with the ring that was meant for me. My mother's voice brought me back. "I spoke to her too, she isn't in the least repentant, she knew all about you, she was with Edward when he was with you." She whispered. "NO! NO! HE CHEATED ON ME! OH, HE HAS CROSSED A LINE, SHE HAS CROSSED A LINE!" I screamed, Renée sensing my murderous mood stepped quickly out a door with a I'll be here if you need me. I didn't even brush my hair just stormed out with my cell and dialled the one number that would cause me pain. She answered on the first ring.

"Alice." I said curtly, in a way of greeting.

"Bella." She replied with warmth and love, I wasn't having that.

"You're here?" I asked coldly.

"Yes."

"Is he?"

"Yes."

With her?"

"Yes."

"You knew?"

"Yes." Was that regret I heard in her voice?

"Is it true."

"Bella."

"Is it true?!" I replied forcefully.

"Your going to listen Isabella Swan. Edward and Tanya are engaged. Edward was with Tanya when he was with you, he couldn't decide between the two. He choose Tanya because of her beauty, I wanted him to choose you because of your love for my brother. He didn't. I haven't spoken to him since he left with her but Jasper has. He wanted to see you, see how you were doing, Jasper advised against it, said it would cause you too much pain. It was their first real argument. Were here, now. I don't like Tanya, she's with my brother because of his money and beauty. But, he still loves you I think – I cut her off.

"He choose that slut instead of me and now he wants to see me?" I asked, disbelief, anger and anger coloured my tone.

Alice sighed, I took that as confirmation.

"Tell, Edward – I spat the name – I never want to see him or her in my lifetime, tell HIM still love him, but I hate him at the same time, throw some expletives in their too." I quickly hung up and went to answer my door. There stood Alice in my hallway holding her phone. Neither of us said anything and I simply walked out to go do some overtime.


	3. Insightful Overtime

Chapter 3 – Overtime

I walked into the straight up and down grey building and went swiftly to my desk, pushing the button on my computer and going to make myself a coffee. It was then I heard the one voice I both loved and hated.

"_This is her office?"_

"_Uh, yeah. Mr. Cullen you can't go in there."_

"_It's only for a minute." _

Crap! I ducked down and crawled to my desk, ruining my tights on the rough carpet. I heard footsteps. Two to be precise.

"The computers on, I'll just go switch it off." I groaned, Edward was coming here with me hiding under my desk. I refused to look at him.

"Uh, Bella? Is that you?"

"No. Go away." I replied stiffly. Very simple he grabbed my waist and pulled me out.

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

"Your like a toddler Bella."

Like a toddler I stuck my tongue out at him. His eyes met mine ad just for a moment I sank into them, but this moment was broken by a high, shrilling voice that annoyed me no end.

"Ah, baby. You're here! With, uh, um – I cut her off.

"Bella." I replied. Her strawberry blonde curls bounced in the breeze coming for my open window and my heart broke impossibly more. She was so much more beautiful that me and she had the one thing I always wanted.

Her eyes darted to Edward's and I knew what she was seeing what I was seeing. The only look reserved for me, love. She'd never felt it and just for a second I thought she was going to lie on the floor and kick her arms and legs about in a tantrum. Instead she did something worse. She thrust her hand up to my face and I saw it, the sparkling diamonds fit perfectly in a gold thin band. I stared at it and when nobody said anything, I rose and said. "I know. Alice told me." At the mention of his sister Edward flinched, I strongly believed Edward had never seen Alice in two years, otherwise Alice would never have allowed the move unless she didn't know about it. Alice loved me more than Edward did. Had, anyways. I smiled tentatively and shooed them out of my office, I had work to do.

Returning to my computer I quickly typed my resignation. I didn't print it, only saved it. It was to be used as a last resort only. I would not quit because of him. He could not make me. I sighed and left to go see my boss, the man who was with Edward earlier. I knocked on his office and his gravelly tones invited me in. He smiled when he saw me, he was always pleased to see me.

"Hey Jack."

"Hey Bella."

"Alright?" I asked.

"Yeah. You?"

I raised my eyebrow and he grimaced, he was just as happy about this as I was. It seemed, my boss had been bribed.

"I'm sorry." He said and in truth it was all he needed to say. Yeah, my life was hard, but Jack's? His was harder. His wife had been married to him for fifteen years and in those she'd had an affair ten. He found out, messy divorce. Donna got custody. He had a beautiful eight year old girl that he hadn't seen in three years, and wasn't likely to see until she turns eighteen and then it's her decision. Jack thought she would choose to cut him out of her life completely then but I wasn't sure.

"I'll get over it."

"No you won't."

"I'll live with it."

"That's better." I smiled, he always knew how to make me smile.

"So, how much did you get?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Three thousand for every year, they stay. And an extra thousand every time he sees you." Every time he sees me? Well, that's a strange request.

I smiled and left his office, Edward was in deep shit.


	4. Phone Call

Chapter 4 – Phone Call

I had the perfect plan. It involved a baseball bat, a spade, gunpowder and a revolver. Right now I was alternating with dark alley or his flat, with _her._ I smiled sadistically as I imagined his guts flying everywhere and his blood in her strawberry hair. I frowned as I realised my phone was beeping. I looked at the called ID.

"Hey Alice."

"I'm not Alice." He replied and I smiled.

"Goodbye Alice." I said as I put the phone down, I went to my laptop and emailed Alice informing her that her phone was stolen by Edward. She replied saying she knew and to call him. I did.

"So, if your not Alice, who are you?"

"Guess."

"At least give me a clue." I whined, just to tease him a bit.

"Fine, I'm one of the main characters in Jane Eyre."

"Well, your not a Jane. Or a Blanche. Or a Adele. I believe you to be male, good sir."

"Male I am."

"Hmm, well. Your not John, so, Sir. I believe you to be Edward."

"Yes, Janet, Edward is I."

"Well then, Edward what do you want?"

"To talk to you."

"You already have, if that is all, goodbye."

"NO! Wait! I must apologise. I cheated on you, Bella."

"I know."

"It was wrong and stupid."

"Yes it was."

"There's nothing stopping us from resuming where we left off, is there my little elf?"

"Yes, there is, Sir. I will not be your bit on the side. I will be nothing to you, just a past time."

"That is not true, Janet. I love you."

I gasped but my reply was calm and controlled. I was holding back my anger. I had too.

"You may never speak those words to me again Mr. Cullen, I am nothing to you. Understand? Go and marry Tanya Denali, she's good for you." I put the phone down quickly and went to feed Poufy. While daydreaming of assassins.

This time it was Alice who called.

"You go girl! You sure told him. I said this would happed but oh no he said 'oh, she'll wait for me Alice, she loves me' yeah and look where that got you? Only a fool loves."

"But you love Jasper." I whispered.

"Yes, and Jasper cheated on me with a one night stand, Bella. I've never truly forgiven him for it. We keep our hearts locked away, it's easier that way."

"But, he loves you." I whispered again, shock colouring my voice.

"Yes, but he was drunk, she was pretty, he was horny. End of."

"Bye, Alice. I have to go."

"Bye Bella." This time it was her to whisper. Remembering probably.

I went to bed that night and like every night, I dreamed. This time something was different, Tanya Denali was waiting in the shadows her ring glittering and Edward's arm snaked around her waist. I ran from them but everywhere was blocked, there was no escape. I was trapped with my love for him and hate for her. As usual, I screamed.


	5. Slapping Edward

_Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in here except Jack (Bella's Boss) and a few other's that will pop in and out in the upcoming chapters). I wish I owned Twilight but sadly, no, a girl can dream…_

_I love reviews! I got my first! I'm doing a special mention to Octopollyrus, you go girl/boy! You are my first reviewer! A special mention to all reviewers only (so if you have me on story alert ect, GET REVIEWING!!! Feedback appreciated!!! _

Chapter 5 – Slapping Edward

My first official day back at work. Great. I'd emailed Jack, Tanya was going to be working as far from me as Jack could make. Which would be pretty far if I had my way. Just to tease Edward, I wore the jeans he'd left me in. He'd remember, they had a very distinctive embroidery on the left leg. I don't know why I decided to put my hair up. No, I'm lying, I know _exactly_ why I did that. My collarbones stood out when I did it, and Edward had a thing about my collarbones, he _loved_ them. And Tanya with her all-stick-nothing-real body, collarbones were something money couldn't buy, neither was good bone structure. I had both.

"Hey, Bella."

"Mr. Cullen."

"My friends call me Edward."

"I'm sure they do, Mr. Cullen."

"You're my friend Bella."

"You're my ex Mr. Cullen."

"So."

"So."

"I have to go, Jack will be mad if I'm late." I lied.

"No he won't."

"Yes he will."

"Are we arguing?"

"No, were having an _impasse_, Mr. Cullen."

"Ouch."

"Goodbye, Mr. Cullen."

"I love you Bella Swan."

"Goodbye Mr. Cullen." I replied.

Tanya Denali was my colleague. Not just my colleague but a close colleague. She must have more money than I had originally thought. More so than Jack had been bribed with. Her sneering voice was the only thing I'd heard all morning.

"Oh, _Isabella_, when Edward proposed it was wonderful. Candles, champagne, the whole of Forks watching me under a canopy of white roses with Edward on one knee, and Isabella, the night we had, oh, I'll remember than night." I rolled my eyes and Jessica sent me a pitiful glance, I merely shrugged at her and smiled back at Tanya.

"Miss Denali, I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring your personal life into the office, it can cause distractions." She sniffed and I resumed typing up a report of the company's finances. I quickly emailed Alice, retelling the events with as much detail as I could and her reply came with a lot of swearing and damning. It made me smile.

Edward came to my desk at lunch and held out his hand. I shook it. But as I did that, his grip changed and his hand turned so that his was holding mine. I sighed, I'd wanted to feel this for _so_ long, this simple, loving gesture. My heart wanted it. But, my head did not. As quickly as I received the gesture I flinched and pulled my hand away before driving it back and slapping him square across the jaw, I felt guilty, but only a little bit. He deserved it. With that thought I walked right out of my office and into Jack's chest. He smirked at me and picked me up by my shoulders, placing me to his right. He strolled off whistling and leaving me with a simple 'careful Bella'. I went straight home and welcomed a dreamless sleep.


	6. Tanya

_Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine, I don't own any characters other than the ones you don't recognise, like Jack and loners that pop in and out. _

_Right, I don't know why Bella slapped him, it just came in my head, I miss my characters so much, expect an update every two to three days, depending on how busy I am. This chapters a one off, I just need you to understand her a little better, understand the things she goes through. _

Chapter 6 – Tanya

(Tanya's POV)

Edward's mine, all mine. Then why won't he love me? Every man/boy I've ever met has loved me, loved me for my beauty. O.K.. Yeah, I'm vain. Deal with it. But, Edward, he always looked right through me, he loved my social status, my looks. He never talked to me, at least, not really. Once, he spoke in his sleep, he said _her_ name. In his sleep. He was dreaming of her! Not me, her! But, I had the one thing Bella didn't, yeah she had his heart but _I_ had his ring, _I_ had his money, _I _shared his bed. She'd never slept with him, I had. But, he committed the worst sin, he screamed _her_ name! Not mine hers! Ugh! I had refused to sleep with him after that, at least until the engagement anyways.

"Isabella." I refused to call her Bella, it wasn't right.

"Tanya." She replied in a mocking tone.

I smiled as I said the one thing I knew would provoke her.

"I had an _amazing_ night with Edward last night, candles, dinner and you know, a little sex, he could satisfy – she cut me off with a sly smile.

"Really Tanya? Because, from what I'd heard, you know, in the paper, Edward was with a big brunette at Sphere's, you know, the nightclub." BITCH! How come she knew more about my _fiancé, _than me!

"I wasn't talking about last night, _Bella_, I was talking about the other night, you know, when he stayed at home." She rolled her eyes and I sighed. "Look Tanya, you won, I lost, you got Edward, I got a broken heart, so just back off Okay?" I squared my jaw and faced her off, just as I was about to slap her Edward came in. So, I couldn't physically hurt her, I could emotionally hurt her. I walked right up to his perfectly pale face, looked dead into his emerald eyes and put my mouth right on his. He smiled against my lips and kissed me back eagerly, his lips moving eagerly with mine, but I needed Bella to see more of our intimacy. So, I stroked my tongue across his lower lip eagerly and luckily he obliged and out tongues met. Isabella cleared her throat and I laced my perfectly manicured nails into his gorgeous bronze hair, lightened by the sun of Arizona. Isabella cleared her throat again and I hitched my leg up to his waist and I heard Isabella's heels clopping on the hallway. I broke the kiss and Edward stormed out to go follow Isabella.


	7. Consoling Bella

Aha! 7 chapters in 6 days, am I good or am I good? Soz being a bit cocky, anyways, SPECIAL MENTIONS! CocaineInnocence, cool name, she is amazing, not only 1 review but two! Lena-Ann Cullen, thank you for the review, I'm glad you liked it. Now, other news, people have added me to alerts, favourites ect, I appreciate it, but if you like it, say so, it takes three seconds. Now a bit of blackmail, a sneaky peek into the next chapter after this one, a little bit of fuzz too, BUT (and this is a big but) I will not post the whole thing until I get more reviews, I know I'm mean, live with it! Now, without further ado and useless rambling CHAPTER 7!

Disclaimer: Every recognisable character in this belongs to the one, the only Ms. Meyer, Meyer we love you, we do!

Chapter 7 – Consoling Bella

(Edward's POV)

I'M AN IDIOT!

HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THAT TO HER?

TO THE ONE WOMAN MY HEART WOULD ALWAYS BELONG TO?

BECAUSE TANYA'S PREETY, AND SHE HAS A POWER OVER YOU, YOU CAN'T RESIST HER.

(Bella's POV)

No words could describe the pain I felt in that one moment. No words could tell Edward how much he had killed me in that moment. As I watched them, a little part of my soul died, it died because it knew there was no hope, no love nothing. It died because it knew that no matter how hard I tried, Edward would never be mine. Edward loved me, that was true, but he loved himself more. He loved his reputation and skinny-pretty-Barbie-bitches, not me. He kissed her, in front of me. In that one moment my heart broke a little more and all attempts at composure flew swiftly out of the window, followed by my self-esteem. So, here I lay, my arms wrapped tightly around my knees trying to control my gasps and sobs. It was no use, my breaths wouldn't quieten and my rigid pose wouldn't relax. Suddenly, I felt two warm arms constrict around me and pull me to my feet. There, I was staring into the emerald eyes that had caused me so much pain. I could feel his cool breath on my face and I closed my eyes, savouring the sensation. His lips pressed gently to each eyelid, in turn waking them from their sleep, so my eyes were open gasping in shock and delight. He smiled his cocky smile and kissed me fully on the lips. God, I'd missed him. Missed this. But I was different now, I'd built a wall around my heart, I had too. I pulled away, but still I let myself be tangled in his arms.

"Je t'aime pour toujours." I whispered into his ear. He smiled and one lone tear left his closed eye. He never opened his eyes just whispered the translation. "I will love you forever." Edward Cullen had my heart and I had his, but Tanya had his hand. What a difficult world we live in.

Aha! Finished! It took a lot of effort to wrote this chapter, never mind imaginary tissues, (I don't cry). Now, on to the preview, I will follow up on my blackmail. I can still write the chapters, just not post them, so really I'm not missing anything *cheeky, cocky smile*.

Preview

"You slut!"

"I can explain!" She whimpered.

"Can you?" I asked sceptically.

She shook her head.

"No, the engagements over, Tanya. You cheated on me!"

"You cheat on me regularly!" She spat.

"I never! I only get pictured laughing and dancing with them, never _sleeping_ with them." I had to admit I was offended, I had my pride!

"It was an accident."

"You brought the camera, and emailed it to the press!" I added scornfully.

"I'm sorry."

"May I speak?" Bella chimed.

"No!" Me and Tanya belted in unison. This was turning out to be a very shitty day.


	8. All Is Revealed

Chapter 8 Everything's Different Now

Edward's POV

I woke up with a familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew that feeling. I _loved_ that feeling. Excitement, nerves and a little bit of nausea. This was the feeling I had felt in the early days of mine and Bella's – I daren't say relationship because we weren't exclusive, well at least I wasn't – thing. It had a name, I'd named it. It was called The Bella Feeling. I got dressed quickly and – as a result – got to work an hour early, not that I minded it meant I could spend some time snooping around in her office before she arrived.

So here I was, in Bella's office, snooping. She wasn't a sentimental person so I don't know what I was expecting, it certainly wasn't what I'd found.

Well it wasn't what I'd _found_ more so what I didn't. I'd found nothing, no pictures, no letters, no little key rings, just a desk with paper, all relating to work. So I took a chance, I'd found a post-it note on the inside of a drawer that read _fool_. I don't know what it meant, I didn't even know if it would work but I took a chance. I typed it in and watched as two words appeared on the computer screen:

_ACCESS GRANTED_

I gasped and nearly fell out of my seat, but swiftly got to business. First I went to her folders. There was nothing there except work, well all apart from one little folder marked 'Poufy' but it wasn't that interesting, just contained some pictures of a very white, very 'poufy' kitten, I checked through the fest of the folder and found an owner certificate. Now, that captured my attention. Poufy was purchased by Reneé, I'd only met her twice and both times I got the impression Bella was the mother and Reneé the child. But the really interesting part was the fact Poufy was bought shortly after I'd left.

"And here I was thinking snooping was past you Mr. Cullen."

Crap.

"Um, hi. Bella"

"Um, hi. Edward." This was the first time she'd addressed me by my first name since I'd left. It sent a warm tingly feeling rush through me. I liked it.

"Bella, I'm sorry."

"Edward, don't be." She was smiling and I couldn't help smile back. Our eyes met but hers looked swiftly away.

"I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but Edward you need to check today's paper." And with that she walked briskly out of her office, Today's paper left on the desk. I sighed and flipped into her chair paper in hand. When I read the headline I froze.

_Young Aristocrat's fiancée pictured having an affair!_

_It emerged yesterday that Edward Cullen's fiancée, Tanya Denali the beautiful woman who has been seen with many dashing young men in the past, has been having an affair. The Arizonian Times is exclusive in knowing that as pictures have been anonymously emailed to our Editor-In-Chief Ruby Flying. These photos feature many acts between Miss Denali and an unknown man. What will happen between the 'happy' couple? We will follow the story closely in the upcoming weeks. _

The page had many photos plastered on them. I tried not to look but I couldn't help it, I immediately recognised the man. _James. _

Sorry, bout the change of direction. The arguments will come up in the next chapter, now a note to CocaineInnocence, can I send you some upcoming chapters for you to proof read? I'm new to this and I want to know other peep's opinions if that's at all possible. Thanks for reading. R&R PLEASE.


	9. Revolution

This is a sad chapter. You have been warned. You'll need tissues. Lots of tissues.

A low growl erupted from my chest, Tanya was mine. Even though I didn't love her, she was mine. And he'd touched her. He'd had her. I growled and stormed out of Bella's office and into hers. Tanya with all her perfection was holding the paper in one hand and a phone in the other. She appeared to be having a heated conversation but, with me in sight, she gasped and turned. Just then Bella fell silently into the room and slipped to the back.

"You slut!"

"I can explain!" She whimpered.

"Can you?" I asked sceptically.

She shook her head.

"No, the engagements over, Tanya. You cheated on me!"

"You cheat on me regularly!" She spat.

"I never! I only get pictured laughing and dancing with them, never _sleeping_ with them." I had to admit I was offended, I had my pride!

"It was an accident."

"You brought the camera, and emailed it to the press!" I added scornfully.

"I'm sorry."

"May I speak?" Bella chimed.

"No!" Me and Tanya belted in unison.

"No. This isn't fair. Bella's done nothing wrong, Tanya. Were over. End of."

I took Bella's hand and she looked at me puzzled but otherwise came willingly. The truth was, I was disgusted and repulsed but otherwise, _relieved._ I could be with Bella now. I could love Bella now. I pulled her into her office and locked the door. I ran to where she stood and grasped her face tightly between my hands. My hands locked her cheeks in a vice and I pushed my lips on hers with a frenzy. If she tried to escape I wasn't aware. I only noticed when she kicked me in the crotch. As I grunted and hovered around in obvious pain Bella just stood there, arms folded against her chest. Once I had recovered she raised an eyebrow.

"Done yet?"

"Not quite." I whispered leaning in she turned away.

"Please. Not that again." I was hurt.

"What? You love me, don't you?"

"Yes, Edward. But I will not be a rebound." She spoke with a firm conviction that set me completely on edge.

"Bella." I whispered, me voice sounded strange to me, agonised.

"Don't Edward. We both can't work here, I'd prefer to stay but if you want to I'll leave."

"Bella don't. Don't do this."

"I'm sorry Edward. I have too." And with that she walked out the door and my life.

Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo! I'm still crying.

Anyway, this is a little thing I'm working on. I _need_ your opinion on this.

Love. Love is many things. Love is beautiful, but in no way gentle, it is unpredictable, unwanted, unbearable, and yet I wouldn't care. I will love you, you miserable git, until I can not feel, until my heart is numb and me, tired. Only a fool loves, and that's O.K. I will be foolish with you. Because, even though you are annoying and your pride gets in the way of _everything_ I can't help wishing, I can't help hoping.


	10. New Beginnings

Chapter 10 – New Beginnings

Edward's POV

"Edward, don't leave me." Tanya begged.

I repeated the words that Bella had spoken to me earlier.

"I'm sorry, Tanya. I have to." How I wished I didn't have to do this, but I owed it to Bella.

After all the hurt I had given her, I could give her one thing, a life without pain. But, no matter what I did I could never take that back. If I could only go back to that day and choose her. But time machines don't exist, I'd invent one if I could but I'm not a scientist. I'm not good enough for her, I'm not good enough for anyone. I just twisted on my heel and strode out of the room. Away from my heart.

Bella POV

I'd heard from gossip that Edward had left because he hated the sight of Tanya (his now ex fiancée) but both me and Jack knew better. He'd left because I'd asked him too and Tanya was sadly intent on staying and burning me daily with her glares. It was simple I transferred floors so I now worked in accounting and she worked in marketing but, I don't know how, she still manages to find me and glare and spread rumours and gossip. I didn't care, Edward was now completely out of my life and now I could concentrate on moving on, if only it was that simple. A couple of years ago me and Alice had devised a 'moving on' scale.

Perfection

Anger

Denial

Upset

Moved On

At this exact moment I was on 'upset' I'd gotten past denial a year ago. But I was close, I could tell that. I'd even started going on dates, even though most were unsuccessful I did have a third date with Jacob, a man I met through Jack. He was a native American and very attractive. But, I felt no love for him. I _liked_ him, that was true but Edward – much to my dismay – had my heart.

"Hey, Jake." I said as he leaned in to kiss my cheek. I let him. It felt warm and comforting, I liked it.

"Hey Bells." He said enthusiastically holding my waist.

"Alright?" I asked as both of us sat down at the bar.

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Still no news?" In this one moment Jake looked sadder than I'd ever seen him, Jake's sister, Ruby (named so because of her ruby coloured skin) was missing, she had been for three months.

"Yes, actually. We've tracked her down." Something was very, very wrong.

"That's great." My voice cracked.

"Border Control. Indonesia. Sex slave. They kidnapped a twelve year old girl, took her to Indonesia, and made her have sex with men three times her age. Were going to get her tomorrow." I was lost for words.

"Um, well she'll be safe soon." I mumbled.

"We can't afford to get her home. We have to pay for her." He sighed. Jake had never asked for anything from me and I didn't expect him too start now. But, I reached into my handbag and drew out my check book.

"How, much do you need?" I asked business like. Fumbling inside my bag to find a pen.

"Bella, I couldn't ask you too." He whispered but his voice faltered, he wanted to save his sister and to hell with his pride.

"I know, Jake. But, I want to help. Let me help." I pleaded.

"Four thousand pounds." He replied in monotone. I almost gagged. But I wanted to help him. I'd just ask Jack if he can pay me earlier. I swiftly wrote the check and handed it to him. He half smiled as he inserted it into his pocket. I smiled.

"Now, Jake. Lets get so pissed we dance on the tables." I waved a waiter who brought my pre-ordered shots over. He smiled and took one.

"Deal." He smirked as we chinked glasses and downed the shots in one.

And we did indeed get very, very pissed.


	11. Finding Ruby

Chapter 11 – Finding Ruby

This is a complete one-off chapter, I just wanted to find out what happened to Jake's sister. It's got very mature themes and is quite sad.

"Jake! It's time." My mother called.

I raced down the stairs quicker than a lightning bolt and clutched the check in hand. We needed to cash it before we left, we already had the other eleven thousand but this was all we needed. Ruby would be coming home today, I'd make sure of it. I sprinted to the car in record time and flew down to the bank. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking. After cashing in the check I raced home, and got on a plane with my mother.

All through the flight I felt sick, the only thing that stopped me throwing up was the image of my sister's face burned into my mind and the hand holding mine, Bella's. She'd come to help me find her, I was grateful for it.

The second we landed I sprinted to border control and Bella couldn't keep up so I gave her a place to meet us. This would be traumatic enough for me and I didn't want to have to hold myself together just because Bella was here.

"I'm sorry Sir, you can't go through." A short, Asian man spoke in a gruff voice that hinted at tiredness. I didn't understand.

"But, but. My sister." I mumbled, trying to see.

"Why is your sister here, business?" He asked sceptically.

"No! She was brought here to be a sex slave. Now let me through!" I barged past only to have myself met by security.

"Sir, you can't come through!" He pressed his hand into my chest and I seriously think I growled.

"My – sister – has – been – trapped – here – as – a –sex – slave – for – three – months, - I – an – taking – her – home." I spat between clenched teeth. The man's fingers relaxed marginally and I barged right past him and out of the airport. Only to be met with weather so, hot and so sticky it put Florida to shame. I followed a man in a black suit who matched the description I was given. He looked very smart and he led me to an even smarter car. Dragged into the plush leather seating, four men obviously carrying guns sat on each side. One held a photo of my sister, recently taken. The picture made me gag.

Her hands were bound around her feet, red marks were the rope had burned her wrists from struggling. Bruises very apparent on her once beautiful russet skin, as were stab marks. Her clothes were dirty and torn and her face, her face was rugged and tear stained, twisted in obvious pain. Her mouth was gagged with white cloth that was grey in some parts. My heart twisted and turned in pain and some words my mother read to me as a child popped into my head.

"How can a heart, twisted and broken, manage to keep beating?" This is what I felt like now, I couldn't speak, bile started to rise in my throat and it was hard to breathe.

"Have you brought the money?"

"Have you brought the girl?" I retorted. He smiled and clicked his fingers. Ruby was lowered in from the boot and into my lap, I held her close and kissed her tears. I handed them the fifteen thousand and they stopped the car. I was let out with Ruby in tow.

"I don't want you to tell me." I said stiffly. "Imagining you in that amount of pain, Roobz it would drive me mad." I explained solemnly. She nodded and a lone tear escaped the corner of her left eye. It landed on my shoulder as Ruby was tired. "Now, we have three hours until we have to meet Bella what do you want to do?" I asked cheerily, it was such a relief to have her here, safe in my arms. I would protect her properly now, I was sure of it.


	12. Unsolved Mystery

Chapter 12 – Unsolved Mystery

Just to clue you in, three years have now gone bye, Bella is twenty-five, Edward is the same age. Bella still loves him, Edward thinks about her every day and Tanya hated her enough to make her leave her job. She still talks to Jack regularly. Jacob is non-existent, three months after Ruby, Nessie came along. Bella didn't mind cause her heart was never in it, she only liked Jake as a mate/dating buddy. Jake was the same.

Edward POV

"Bella." I whispered. My eyes flew open searching for the angel in my head. She wasn't there, my angel only appeared when I was asleep or daydreaming. This dream was not so different from the others, a flash of memories, one after the other, like a film. I closed my eyes, searching for my memories. I went through them in order. The first time I saw her face, the first time I spoke to her. The first time I touched her lips, I still remembered the way they felt. Soft, supple and warm. My hand flew out instinctively to cradle her face. I groaned when I realised she wasn't there. Where are you Bella? Where are you, my angel?

Bella POV

Sometimes I heard his voice, in my dreams, whispering sweet nothings in my ears and trailing kisses down my face. Do you know how it feels like to wake up and know your not there? How I cry so much when my heart aches for you? How my mind dreams you up because it's anxious to keep you? I have your number, still and these past few weeks… I've nearly caved. I will cave, I'm sure, only the time is delayed.

Edward POV

"Hey Edward."

"Emmet."

"Still no change?"

"None."

"I'm sorry bro."

"Me too." I sighed. I'd missed Emmet, and Emmet missed me. But, the Edward I was, was still with Bella, I'd never left her, she owned part of my soul. I hadn't been the same since she left. I couldn't be.

Bella POV

Stupid bitch! Stupid, stupid bitch! I hate her! I hate her, did I mention I hated her, yeah? Well I'll say it again, I hate Tanya Denali! She made me quit! Jack was all for firing Tanya but, no , good Bella couldn't let all the money Edward was paying him to keep her go to waste. So now, because of my good side I was jobless. And single. And what do jobless single people do on a Friday night? They get drunk. Very, very drunk.

Four and a half hours later I was sitting on a barstool chatting to the barman.

"He doesn't even deserve me. The pay was crap. I was close to quitting anyways." I slurred. The barman raised his eyebrows sceptically. This annoyed me.

"Think I'm lying do you?"

The barman fell silent and shook his head.

"Yeah, you better be quiet, smart ass." I mumbled, shoving my glass in front of him and silently asking for a refill. He filled it up grudgingly and I downed it in one, before putting it in it's place and downing another one.

Edward POV

There she was. My angel, drinking herself under the table. I strode over and boldly told the barman to serve her no more alcohol. Her bloodshot eyes turned to stare at me. I smiled and she snorted asking for another drink. The barman looked very scared. On the one hand he had a very drunk female that would, no doubt get hurt id he left her on her own. And on the other, a man who looks like he could floor him before he called time-out. Tricky, very tricky. I made up his mind.

"Bella, your coming to mine, your going to sleep off this hangover." I said sternly.

"I don't need your help!" She spat and walked off, but not before collapsing in the middle of the bar. I picked her up and took her to my car, praying that she wouldn't throw up on the seats.


	13. I am lost

Disclaimer: Me, no own Twilight, Edward, Bella, ect. I own Heaven, Hell and Jack. Mustn't forget Ruby. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby…….

Sorry it has been so long since my update, I'm so sorry! Now I'm stuck, I'm very stuck, but that' O.K. it's good to be stuck, I think. Now, I'll make this very simple, I WANT REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You better review, remember, no reviews = sad Imy. Sad Imy = Suicidal Imy. Dead Imy = NO STORY, SO HA! I want reviews!!!!!

Chapter 13 – I am Lost

Bella's POV

What am I doing? I'm sitting in Edward's fucking Volvo _trying_ not to throw up on the leather interior. I leaned my head all the way out the window and I heard Edward chuckle, "You always wanted to fly." He murmured and blushed, I hated what that blush did to me.

"Oh, how great you remembered something." I said in a snarky, sarcastic tone. His eyes rolled and he looked straight out into the road. Ah, bummer, I killed the conversation, boo hoo, boo hoo. Edward smirked and snorted. This annoyed me.

"So what you can read minds now?" I asked sceptically ignoring the fact that my heart yearned for him.

"No, Not exactly, I just know you I'm-bitching-about-Edward-Fucking-Cullen face." He snorted and I had the odd urge to throw my purse at him. I did. "Ow, Bella!" He screeched, I shrugged.

"I am _trying_ to drive a fucking car and you throw your bag at me!" He was fuming, he looked very funny when he was angry, I had to laugh at him. In no time at all I was shrieking in front of his face while he tried to drive. I looked at the dashboard, it was 3:45, where was he taking me at 3:45?

"To my apartment." He replied simply. Damn I hadn't realised I'd spoken aloud.

"Sorry, I was thinking to myself." I muttered. He gave me a sweet, arrogant smile.

"Know what I plan on doing tonight?" He asked I shook m head.

"I plan on sending you to bed and watching you sleep." I was shocked. Dead shocked.

"Uh, no. You can't do that, I talk in my sleep and, well, you remember." I blushed, the amount of times I'd told him I loved him in my sleep was uncountable. I'd been glad before, now, I hated saying those words. I'd tried. I really had. I'd seen other boys. I'd gone out and lost my virginity. I'd dated. I'd flirted. I'd kissed. But I picked the boys on their green eyes, their perfect bone structure, their bronze messy hair. All _his_ traits and flaws. I'd even started a diary, recording every date, every man. Every number. They were basically all the same, Alice was frightened, to say the least. And you know what? I was in therapy, bloody therapy! Nothing worked, my therapist and devoted friend, Victoria, was just that a devoted friend. We spent my sessions discussing gossips and giggling. We tried discussing problems, drawing them you name it we tried it. I couldn't get over the shock or hurt that I felt for Edward. Yes I'd told him to go, but a really big part of me was hoping he'd turn back and refuse. He didn't and I have to say, I expected just that. Anything regarding me and him, he was scared to break. Like a simple conversation or insult would make me leave him, so he sat back and let me lead. I made all the moves, I arranged all the dates. And this pissed me off royally, I wasn't going to leave but he always thought I would.

"You wanted me to come back, to take the lead?" He asked softly. I gaped at him, I'd said my rant aloud. AGAIN.

"Alcohol detaches the brain filter." He added in a voice like milk, smooth and silky.

I sighed and closed my eyes, tonight their would be talking, lots of talking. Oh joy!

"Yes, I wanted that. I wouldn't leave you Edward and yet you were so afraid, I never got that." We spoke in whispered tones, so the words could easily be misjudged or changed.

Edward POV

She wanted me to lead her, to dominate our relationship? I was so afraid, I knew I didn't deserve her. That one day she'd wake up and knew we weren't meant to be. That was why I went after Tanya I wanted a relationship that no one could doubt. I wanted someone I knew would never leave. I told Bella this.

"Edward, every relationship is like that. Not one are equal, yes people from the same cliques go out but it rarely works out. There just too similar, there isn't the thrill of knowing that one day things could be different. Change is thrilling, it gave us something you and Tanya never had. It gave us raw passion and thrills and highs, yes, we weren't perfect _alone_ but together… - she stopped marvelling for a moment – Edward, we were meant to be. We both have wit, have sarcasm, a passion for books, a passion for each other, raw desire. We had fire Edward, until that fire burned out." She stopped.

"It never did, not for me." I spoke so quietly it was a shock that she heard me.

"Me neither Edward, I just assumed – I cut her off, angry.

"Never assume Bella! Ever! We are both complicated and it's a miracle that I understand you half the time, because we don't both to ask, to make things clear. We need to learn to do that if were to make things work." Did I just say that? I was in deep shit…

**Oooohhhhhhhh cliffy!!! Please don't hate me but I hate long chapters and this was the only way I could finish it naturally, now, the 'Bella' speech is personal to me as I recently lost a guy I shouldn't have been with in the first place, I wasn't planning on continuing this story as it was getting too close to my heart and too me related but I'm just as addicted as you are so I am continuing it, slowly. Now, girlies I want suggestions!!! I'm trying a thing where you tell me what you want and I write it. I want 4 reviews before the next chapter!!!!!!!**


	14. Cause and Effect

**Disclaimer: As much as I would love to have written the Twilight series, I did not. If I did there would be way more kisses and fluff. And horny Edward. Me and a mate at my theatre school, FLYING HIGH, have a joke, I'll tell it too you. **

**Me: Why is Edward so horny?**

**Mate: Coz he's a 107 year old virgin!!!!!**

**Sorry, I know it isn't funny. Now I'm promoting my mate here and if you don't like it, piss off! Yes, I swear, deal with it. I'm also PMSing so that has something to do with bitchiness and snarky comments in this chapter. The title say it all! Now back to promoting here's her link, ****.net/u/1830870/Roobz**** she has 150 REVIEWS FOR HER MEGA AMAZING FIC!! Awakening of the Heart, I'm also posting this link, ****.net/s/4874789/1/Awakening_Of_The_Heart**

**her story is amazing, I love every chapter. BTW, Ruby, POST ALREADY! Sorry I normally don't do these long posty things, but I am now! I warn you now, this chapter isn't pleasant and near impossible to write. **

Chapter 14 – Cause and Effect

Bella POV

I peeked at him from under my lashes, eyes wide and frightened. I sighed.

"Do you want us to be together?" I asked in a shy, timid voice. He turned to look at me face on, ignoring the road. I should have known, that after all this time, my luck had run out.

"With all my heart." He said meaningfully, and as I looked back at this moment, as I would continue to age, I saw the actions play out, preserving this moment. I smiled just as I saw two blaring headlights and heard a deafening crash, followed by my screams.

Edward POV

That screech, that ear piercing howl of pain. I heard it every I closed my eyes, the headlights always there, like a time bomb they pounce and that night explodes into thousands of screens I am forced to watch. But, scream or no scream it was the silence. That cold, dark silence that made my face turn white and my blood turn to ice in my veins. And like a bad movie I replayed the scene that followed in my head.

"Bella, Bella!" I screamed. No reply, I couldn't see her, her face turned from me and red seeping down her neck. It was dark and cold in the car. I wanted out but the car motorbike squashed next to me made it impossible. Instead, I climbed into the back and leaned over to Bella. The sight sickened me. She was clearly unconscious, but I could see the pulse mark in her neck. This calmed me, but not considerably so. She had only minutes if I couldn't get help for her. I acted on instinct and dug my foot through the back window glass, shattering it into pieces. I pushed the bike down, the owner fled, and opened the car door. With in-human speed I sprinted to the other side and lifted Bella onto my chest. She'd been on it for mere seconds and already her blood started to seep through. I placed on a grass patch and called Carlisle, for instructions. If I was going to keep Bella alive for long enough, I _needed_ expert help.

"Edward?" He asked, confused. I never called him at this hour.

"Carlisle. Thank God. There's been an accident, Bella's unconscious. God, Carlisle I think she's haemorrhaging, there's so much blood." I cried. I could hear the ticking in his brain as he went through his medical training.

"Where's she bleeding most?" He asked, monotone, detached. Just like I needed to be.

"I don't know! Carlisle, I think she's dying." And with that I started to weep.

"Get it together boy!" He barked. "If Bella is going to stay alive you need to do as I say. Locate the main source, hurry." I felt around Bella's body finding the spot.

"Back of the neck." I replied, my voice breaking.

"Tie something underneath the wound, apply pressure." He ordered, I did. I could hear a car in the background Carlisle was coming.

"Okay." I replied, doing as instructed. Tearing my shirt.

"I'm coming Edward. Speak to her, it'll help bring he around." He told me and hung up after I gave him the directions.

Bella, baby, I'm so sorry. Carlisle's coming, your safe, now." I heard her groan and gasp and her eyes abruptly opened. She couldn't talk, that much was clear but her brown eyes were full of forgiveness and kindness and love. I smiled and kissed her lips once, she pouted them slightly, then fell back into unconsciousness. Tearing her from me. I applied pressure to the back of her neck until Carlisle arrived, stemming the blood flow. She was safe now, she'd live. I told myself that, I had to.


	15. warning

Warning, this is not a chapter. This is a author's note.

Sorry for not updating. No, actually, I'm not sorry. I reserve the right to stop fanfics at any time. That isn't what I'm doing. I'm suspending it. Indefinitely. I'm at a make or break point with it and it's difficult to write something that could fly or fall with five fics going on at once. Keep your eyes open for updates!


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